Weapons of Mass Fermentation Doomsday Survival Guide

Weapons of Mass Fermentation Doomsday Survival Guide

Einstein

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." — Albert Einstein

đŸ»Check Out The Beer Nerd Merch StoređŸ»


Einstein wasn't wrong; the world is a powder keg, and most of us just sit here, doing our best to survive, while nervously waiting for the spark. But amidst the dick-measuring and political posturing, there is something we can do...

As a former Boy Scout, I made it to the rank of Life Scout. I didn't stick around long enough to complete the coveted Eagle, but long enough that I still tend to have the "be prepared" mentality...

 

 

Table of Contents

1. Survival Basics

While the idea of post-apocalyptic brewing might sound enticing, immediate survival is the priority in a nuclear event. Here's a detailed guide to enhance your chances of staying safe: 

Duck & Cover

Why it Works:

  • The intense light and heat from a nuclear explosion can cause severe burns and temporary blindness. The shockwave can hurl debris with deadly force.

How to Do It:

  • Drop to the ground immediately upon seeing a bright flash.
  • Cover your head and neck with your arms.
  • Stay low to the ground and face away from windows to reduce exposure to shattering glass and debris.



Find Shelter Quickly

 

  • Underground: Basements, subway stations, or storm shelters provide excellent protection.
  • Thick Walls: Structures made of concrete, brick, or stone help shield against radioactive fallout.
  • Interior Rooms: If you're in a high-rise building, move to the center of the building and avoid top floors.
  • Improvisation: If no formal shelter is available, use available materials to create barriers, such as piling furniture, dirt, or sandbags near doors and windows.

 

 

    Seal Your Shelter

     

    Hunker Down for 24–48 Hours

    • Radiation Decay: Fallout radiation reduces significantly within the first 24–48 hours but can still be deadly if you're exposed too soon.
    • Ventilation: Control airflow. If your shelter becomes too stuffy, create airflow without exposing yourself to fallout. Use improvised filters like damp cloths over vents.


      Monitor Radiation Levels


         

        Decontamination Steps

        • Remove and dispose of any clothing that may have been exposed to fallout, placing it in a sealed plastic bag.
        • Wash thoroughly with soap and water, focusing on your hair and exposed skin.
        • Avoid using conditioner, as it can bind radioactive particles to your hair.

         


        References & Resources

        For further detailed guidance, consult official resources like:

        • Ready.gov: Comprehensive emergency preparedness information.

        2. Evacuation Justifications

        If you're outside the lethal zone, here’s why you might evacuate:

        • Mild Shockwave: Your house stands; you're likely outside the worst zone. Congrats, I guess... You made it through the initial blast.
        • Official Broadcasts: Local radio, television, or (most likely) social media announcements from official channels might help guide your decision to evacuate, if available.

        Staying informed and prepared can make all the difference in surviving and thriving—even in the aftermath of a catastrophic event.

        3. Home Brewer’s Survival Bug Out Bag

        Combine survival essentials with brewing gear:

        Core Items:

         

        Brewing Must-Haves:

         

        Fire Source:

         

        Pro Tip: Keep your bag manageable in weight! Try brewing with a hiking stove, aluminum camping coffee pot, and a modified Nalgene bottle for fermentation. 

        4. Scavenge and Scale Your Brewery


         

        Brewing beer after a nuclear apocalypse presents unique challenges, but with resourcefulness and a keen eye, it's possible to turn your environment into a thriving brewery. Here's a detailed guide to scavenging ingredients and building a larger-scale operation:


        Locate Ruined Home Brew Supply Stores and Supermarkets

        Zombified home brew supply shops and supermarkets can be treasure troves for brewing. Search for:

        • Unopened malt or grain packages: Check the baking and beer-brewing sections. Look for sealed bags or vacuum-packed items, as these are less likely to be contaminated or spoiled.
        • Alternative yeast sources: Bread yeast or even the residue in old craft beer bottles might still be viable with a little creativity.

         

        Farms and Grain Silos

        Abandoned farms and grain silos can provide:

        • Stored barley or wheat: Even if processed for livestock, these grains can be malted for brewing. Ensure they are stored in areas with minimal fallout exposure.
        • Corn: A versatile base for brewing if barley is unavailable. Corn mash can create a flavorful and unique brew.

         

        Wild Foraging

        Nature provides plenty of ingredients for post-apocalypse brewing:

        • Wild herbs: If hops are scarce, alternatives like mugwort, horehound, or yarrow can impart bitterness and flavor.
        • Roots and bark: Sassafras or juniper berries can be used for flavoring traditional-style ales or sodas.

         

        Safety Tips for Ingredient Scavenging

        • Radiation Assessment: Carry a Geiger counter or similar device. Avoid high-radiation zones and areas with visible fallout.
        • Inspect for Contamination: Moldy, discolored, or foul-smelling ingredients are unusable. Err on the side of caution to avoid health risks.

         

        Scaling Up Your Post-Apocalypse Brewery

        Once you've gathered a consistent supply of ingredients, you can expand your brewing operation to serve your community. Here's how:

        Repurpose Found Materials 

        *Pro-tip: Explore abandoned breweries in your area to procure vessels, tools, and ingredients. Only loot abandoned breweries... Many craft brewers are probably better prepared for the apocalypse than you are and may be more heavily armed.


        DIY Malting

         

        Improvised Equipment

         

        Rebuilding Community

         

        A larger-scale brewery is more than just a production hub; it’s a morale booster. Invite survivors to help:

         

         

         

         

        5. Apocalyptic Brewing Steps

        Brewing beer in a post-apocalyptic world might sound like a luxury, but it’s more than that—it’s a way to reclaim normalcy, boost morale, and build community. The process is surprisingly simple with the right approach, even in challenging conditions. Below, we break down each step in detail, including essential tips and tricks for adapting traditional brewing techniques to the apocalypse.

        Follow these basic steps to brew in the apocalypse:

        Mash (Full-grain): Soak crushed grains in warm water (150–160°F) for about an hour to extract sugars.

        • Strain the liquid (now called wort) into a clean container.

        Boil:Boil the wort or DME (if applicable) for 60 minutes to sterilize and develop flavors.

        • Add hops or wild herbs at various stages for bitterness, flavor, and aroma.

        Cool: Quickly cool the wort to room temperature using cold water, snow, or a makeshift chiller.

        • Cover the wort to prevent contamination.

        Ferment: Transfer the cooled wort to a sanitized fermentation vessel.

        • Add yeast and seal with an airlock or DIY solution. Let it ferment.

        Condition: Allow the beer to mature in the fermentation vessel or bottles for another 1-2 weeks for ales, longer for lagers.

        Package: Add a small amount of priming sugar to the beer before transferring the finished beer to bottles, growlers, or other containers.

        • Store in a dark, cool area until consumption.

        Enjoy: Taste-test your creation, name it, and share it through barter or party.

         

        Sustainable Brewing

        Sustainable brewing practices are essential for minimizing environmental impact and promoting resource efficiency in the beer industry. Key areas of focus include water conservation and the repurposing of brewing byproducts.

         

        Water Conservation Strategies

        Water is a fundamental component of beer production, with traditional brewing methods consuming approximately 10 liters of water for every liter of beer produced. To enhance sustainability, breweries are implementing various water conservation measures:

        • Closed-Loop Systems: Recycling and reusing water within the brewing process to reduce overall consumption.
        • Rainwater Harvesting: Collecting and utilizing rainwater for non-brewing purposes, such as cleaning and irrigation.
        • Advanced Water Treatment: Implementing state-of-the-art water treatment systems to reclaim and purify wastewater for reuse.

         

        Repurposing Brewing Byproducts

        The brewing process generates significant byproducts, including spent grains, yeast, and hops. Innovative approaches to repurposing these materials contribute to a circular economy and reduce waste:

        • Animal Feed: Spent grains are rich in nutrients and can be repurposed as animal feed, supporting local agriculture and reducing waste.
        • Food Ingredients: Transforming spent grains into flour or other food products introduces nutritious, sustainable ingredients into the human food chain.
        • Sustainable Building Materials: Utilizing hops waste to create eco-friendly construction materials, such as acoustic panels and thermal insulation, exemplifies innovative waste repurposing.

         

        Case Study: Young Henrys Brewery

        Young Henrys, an Australian brewery, exemplifies sustainable brewing through several initiatives:

        • Solar Energy: Installation of a 33kW solar panel array reduces greenhouse gas emissions by 127 tonnes annually.
        • Algae Project: Partnership with the University of Technology Sydney to install bioreactors containing microalgae that absorb CO₂ emissions from fermentation, releasing oxygen back into the atmosphere.

         

        6. Historical Brewing

        Brewing in post-apocalyptic conditions requires ingenuity, resilience, and an understanding of pioneer methods that relied on simple tools, basic ingredients, and natural processes. Here’s how to adapt traditional brewing techniques to create beer when resources are scarce:

         

        Malt Your Grains

        The Basics:

        • Soaking: Soak grains (such as barley, wheat, or even corn) in water for 24–48 hours until they begin to sprout. 
        • Sprouting: Spread the soaked grains on a clean surface, keeping them moist but not wet, and allow them to sprout. This converts starches into fermentable sugars.
        • Drying: Once sprouted, halt the germination process by drying the grains. Use a wood-fired oven, the sun, or an improvised kiln made from clay or metal.
        • Why It Matters: Malting is essential for creating fermentable sugars—the backbone of your beer. Adjust the drying method to achieve different flavor profiles (e.g., smoky or roasted).

         

        Mash in Wooden Tubs 

        Improvised Equipment:

        • Use wooden barrels, tubs, or even hollowed-out logs as mashing vessels.
        • Heat water over a fire and add it to the crushed malt to extract sugars. Aim for a "porridge-like" consistency.

        Temperature Control:

        • Without a thermometer, rely on touch and experience. Water should feel hot but not scalding—roughly 150–160°F (65–70°C).
        • Stir regularly and monitor for consistency. Pioneer brewers often used trial and error to perfect their mash.

        Draining:

         

        Ferment with Wild Yeast 

        Natural Fermentation:

        • Leave the cooled wort exposed to open air in a clean, sheltered area to collect wild yeast and bacteria. This mimics the traditional process of spontaneous fermentation.

        Challenges:

        Alternatives:

        • If you have access to fruit skins, tree bark, or leftover bread, these can also introduce yeast to your brew.

         

        Flavor Enhancements

        Pioneer-Style Additives:

        • Hops: If unavailable, substitute with herbs like mugwort, yarrow, or spruce tips for bitterness and preservation.
        • Fruits & Spices: Add dried fruits, honey, or spices to flavor your beer and boost fermentation.


          Improvised Storage


            Lessons from History

            Pioneer brewers adapted to their environment and utilized available resources. Brewing wasn’t just a luxury; it was a way to preserve calories, purify water, and create a morale-boosting staple.

             

            7. The Final Toast

            Congratulations! You’ve:

            • Survived the initial blast.
            • Decontaminated and prepared your bug out bag.
            • MacGyvered brewing gear and scavenged ingredients.
            • Brewed beer in the apocalypse like a pioneer.

            Now, under the eerie glow of a fallout sunset, you’re sipping a homemade IPA. Einstein was probably right about sticks and stones—but what better reason is there to tap a keg or three?

             

             

            Disclaimer: This blog post is satirical and not a substitute for official guidance. Always heed updates from emergency services. If you enjoyed this post, please sign up for our newsletter and check out our social media and store, if you have time. 

            References:

            "The Complete Joy of Homebrewing" by Charlie Papazia

            • A classic guide with simple, straightforward instructions for brewing beer using accessible ingredients and techniques.

            "Brewing Classic Styles: 80 Winning Recipes Anyone Can Brew" by Jamil Zainasheff and John J. Palmer

            • Offers recipes for classic beer styles, adaptable to post-apocalyptic ingredients and conditions.

            "How to Brew: Everything You Need to Know to Brew Great Beer Every Time" by John J. Palmer

            • Comprehensive brewing guide with troubleshooting tips, perfect for making beer with limited tools and ingredients.

            "Sacred and Herbal Healing Beers: The Secrets of Ancient Fermentation" by Stephen Harrod Buhner

            • Focuses on ancient brewing methods and herbal beers, ideal for using foraged ingredients in a survival scenario.

            "The Art of Fermentation: An In-Depth Exploration of Essential Concepts and Processes from Around the World" by Sandor Ellix Katz

            • Explores fermentation broadly, including creative ways to brew beer and use alternative fermentation techniques.

            "Wild Brews: Beers Beyond the Influence of Brewer's Yeast" by Jeff Sparrow

            • A guide to wild and spontaneous fermentation, using naturally occurring yeast and bacteria.

            "Homebrewer's Garden: How to Grow, Prepare & Use Your Own Hops, Malts & Brewing Herbs" by Joe Fisher and Dennis Fisher

            • Teaches how to grow and process your own brewing ingredients, critical in a post-apocalyptic environment.

            "Radical Brewing: Recipes, Tales, and World-Altering Meditations in a Glass" by Randy Mosher

            • Inspires creative approaches to brewing, using unconventional and locally available ingredients.

            "The Practical Brewer" by the Master Brewers Association of the Americas

            • A technical guide to brewing processes, scalable for survival-level brewing systems.

            "Family Handyman/Reader's Digest Complete DIY Manual"

            • While not specific to brewing, it contains valuable information for building brewing equipment and creating makeshift tools.

            "The Resilient Gardener: Food Production and Self-Reliance in Uncertain Times" by Carol Deppe

            • Covers growing grains like barley, corn, and other staples, which are essential for brewing beer.

            "Edible Wild Plants: Wild Foods from Dirt to Plate" by John Kallas

            • A guide to foraging edible plants, some of which can be used for flavoring or fermenting beer (e.g., herbs, roots, and wild grains).

            "The Forager's Harvest: A Guide to Identifying, Harvesting, and Preparing Edible Wild Plants" by Samuel Thayer

            • Provides detailed insights into finding and using wild plants that could serve as adjuncts in brewing.

            "Back to Basics: A Complete Guide to Traditional Skills" by Abigail Gehring

            • Includes DIY techniques for building tools, including brewing equipment, and sustainable living practices.

            "The Prepper’s Water Survival Guide: Harvest, Treat, and Store Your Most Vital Resource" by Daisy Luther

            • Focuses on obtaining and purifying water, a critical ingredient for brewing in survival scenarios.

            "Wild Fermentation: The Flavor, Nutrition, and Craft of Live-Culture Foods" by Sandor Ellix Katz

            • Explores fermentation using wild yeast and bacteria, perfect for survival brewing with minimal resources.

            "When Technology Fails: A Manual for Self-Reliance, Sustainability, and Surviving the Long Emergency" by Matthew Stein

            • A survivalist manual with chapters on crafting tools, purifying water, and improvising food production, all relevant to brewing.

            "The Drunken Botanist: The Plants That Create the World's Great Drinks" by Amy Stewart

            • Delves into the plants that can be used for alcoholic beverages, helping identify alternative brewing ingredients.

            "Seed to Seed: Seed Saving and Growing Techniques for Vegetable Gardeners" by Suzanne Ashworth

            • Guides on saving seeds for grains, hops, and herbs critical to sustaining brewing over time.

             

            Back to blog